SB 1728

How do you feel about adding a Cyberbullying Awareness Week at school for grades K - 12? 

SB 1728 proposes we dedicate the third week of September each year to cyberbullying awareness in our schools.  To read more about this bill please visit the Florida Senate's website.

I think it’s a great idea.  What brought this story to my attention was a news article about a group of children in middle school who took the time to support SB 1728 by attending the Senate K-12 Education Committee hearing. 

We dedicate days, weeks and sometimes months to other causes.  Why not include this very important topic in a place where it can reach the target audience? 

National Pink Shirt Day

Photo Retrieved from: PinkShirtDay

Will you be wearing pink tomorrow?  I know my daughter and I will be wearing our pink shirts loud and proud! 

If you haven’t heard of National Pink Shirt Day please visit PinkShirtDay.ca/about to learn more. 

Basically, a boy was bullied at school for wearing a pink shirt on the first day of 9^th grade.  In response, two other students decided to provide and wear pink shirts the next day in support of this boy.  It was a huge success and the bullies backed off. 

This is just one example of how teens can support each other.  Had this incident of bullying been conducted through cyberbullying, it is unlikely the victim would have found the unsolicited help he received. 

Please wear pink tomorrow and take a stand against bullying!

The Moral of the Story



Photo Retrieved from: ASPA National

 As can be seen in the examples of Josie Lou Ratley, Wayne Treacy, Phoebe Prince, and the many other teens affected by cyber bullying, there can be devastating and often deadly consequences.  Did anyone watch Glee last week?  I won’t ruin it for those of you who haven’t had a chance to see it yet, but the topic was cyberbullying.  I hope through the use of this media we are able to better educate teens on the impact of cyberbullying.  No one knows how someone will respond to cyberbullying.  The effect could be purely internal emotional damage, or physical trauma, or death, or even suicide. 

One problem with cyberbullying versus old fashioned name calling and punch-him-in-the-face bullying, is that there is no one there to stop it.  When a fight breaks out at a school there are always those kids who gather in a circle around the fight and provide encouragement.  However, there are usually a few students who will yell out in protest and some even step in themselves to end it.  Otherwise, school administrators or police are called and they stop the fight. 

Photo Retrieved from: SheridanMedia

The same goes for name calling or other verbal attacks.  Yes, there are those kids who laugh and encourage the bully to continue.  But, there are usually a few kids who will speak up if the victim does not or is unable to properly defend themselves.  And of course, there are the teachers and school administrators who are hopefully alert to this behavior and can step in to end it. 

The tricky part about cyberbullying is there typically are no witnesses or at least not any uninvolved parties, aware of this behavior.  The victim is isolated and afraid.  No one may know this person is being bullied or to what extent.  Victims are embarrassed and ashamed.  They are not likely to admit to this treatment and often feel it wouldn’t make any difference if they did. 

According to research conducted by Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin from the Cyberbullying Research Center, “cyberbullying victims were twice as likely to have attempted suicide compared to youth who had not experienced cyberbullying”.  It is important to note that youths who are cyberbullied may have previously suffered socially or academically and the increased stress from cyberbullying may not be the sole cause of suicide.  Socially awkward or academically challenged teens do tend to be the ones that bullies gravitate towards.  In my opinion bullies have low self-esteem and need an easy target to build them up at another’s expense.  However, it is important to educate these bullies on the damage their behavior may cause and offer them alternatives to build their self-esteem.

On a side note:  What amazes me the most are the cases when cyberbullying is continued even after the victim is deceased.  Do these bullies feel no remorse?  Do they feel they need to justify their actions?  I really just do not understand it. 

Photo Retrieved from: KiwiCommons

Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities

Photo Retrieved from: Babble

Here are some excerpts from Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities which pertains to the subject of this blog:

Safety

We do our best to keep Facebook safe, but we cannot guarantee it. We need your help to do that, which includes the following commitments:

• You will not bully, intimidate, or harass any user.

• You will not post content that: is hateful, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence.

Registration and Account Security

Facebook users provide their real names and information, and we need your help to keep it that way. Here are some commitments you make to us relating to registering and maintaining the security of your account:

• You will not provide any false personal information on Facebook, or create an account for anyone other than yourself without permission.

• You will not create more than one personal profile.

• If we disable your account, you will not create another one without our permission.

Termination

If you violate the letter or spirit of this Statement, or otherwise create risk or possible legal exposure for us, we can stop providing all or part of Facebook to you. We will notify you by email or at the next time you attempt to access your account. You may also delete your account or disable your application at any time.

As you can see from these excerpts, the only penalty Facebook is prepared to hand out to violators of their policies is to terminate your account.  While the guidelines are present, there are no monitors available to enforce these “responsibilities”. 

Fake Online Boyfriend?

Photo Retrieved from: ReadingAtDawn

Do you remember what it was like when you were a teenager and had that first crush?  Butterflies in your stomach, a lump in your throat?  Every moment together was magical?  Looking forward to the next time you spoke?

Now enter the world of cyberspace where “going out” does not necessarily mean leaving the comfort of your living room.  In fact, maybe you haven’t even met face-to-face yet.  But somehow the two of you “bump” into each other and it just feels right.

Unfortunately, for one teen this accidental encounter was actually staged by some of her frenemies (people who pretend to be a friend, but who are actually an enemy).    In fact, the person on the other end of the internet connection was completely fabricated.  These frenemies created a bogus Facebook account and “friended” this teen.  One Facebook conversation led to another and she ended up with a boyfriend who never really existed.  

This elaborate hoax went on for three months.  

Photo retrieved from: Daily Mail



Let’s take break here to establish how this teen must have been feeling at this point.  She had a boyfriend who she obviously liked very much even though they had never officially met.  After three months, I’m sure he had become a part of her routine, something to look forward to each day after school.  She must have been comfortable with “him” but the relationship was still new enough that it was magical. Okay, back to the story…

Can you guess what the frenemies did next?  They instilled jealousy into the relationship to upset the teen, which caused her to break up with her “boyfriend”. 

Okay, the story should be done now, right?  Frenemies made their point; the teen is sad and brokenhearted.  They never even had to reveal themselves.  The relationship is over.  End of story, right?

Wrong!  The frenemies then created a fake Facebook memorial page alluding to a suicide due to a recent breakup!  So this teen now believed her “ex-boyfriend” had committed suicide and she blamed herself.  In fact, thousands of others were fooled as well and this person who NEVER even existed managed to generate thousands of posts on his memorial site.

Fortunately, the teen finally brought her parents and the police into this matter.  An investigation was conducted and the truth was finally revealed. 

This elaborate scheme created an entirely false reality for the victim.  First, she thought she had a real connection with a boy who in fact never existed.  Then, she experience the pain and guilt of losing someone she cared about who was never really there to lose. 

Luckily, in this situation, the victim was able to mentally handle the stress and anguish these frenemies or cyberbullies caused her.  This story easily could have ended much more tragically, as is seen in so many other cyberbullying stories.

References:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1363723/Bullies-pose-teenagers-boyfriend-Facebook-tell-hes-committed-suicide.html

Massachusetts Anti-Bullying Law Created in Response to Teen's Suicide

Photo Retrieved from: Boston.com

In January 2010, 15 year old, Phoebe Prince of Massachusetts hanged herself after suffering months of bullying from her classmates.  Phoebe was new to the school and became the focus of the bullies after she supposedly dated a popular boy at the school.  These bullies would knock her books out of her hands, throw things at her as she walked by and spread rumors about her.  The bullies also used social media and text messages to continue the harassment after school hours.  She was called obscene names on Twitter, Craigslist, Facebook and Formspring and she received threats via text messages on her cell phone (Kennedy, 2010).   In fact, even after her death, cyberbullying continued on the Facebook memorial wall that had been created for Phoebe (Kotz, 2010).

School officials and staff members witnessed some of the disturbing abuse Phoebe suffered while at school and failed to act.  This is unacceptable.  However, outside of school grounds, when teens are bullied through media sources it is harder to “witness” the abuse.  I believe teens are inclined to hide this information from their parents out of embarrassment.  One of my concerns with cyberbullying is the invisibility of it and the fact that there is no escaping it.  When children are bullied face-to-face there is opportunity for an adult to catch it happening.  Also, before media technology existed, a child who was bullied at school was typically able to escape at home each night back into the sanctuary of their home environment.  I think this reprieve from the torture of bullies is important for a teen’s emotional state.  It allows an opportunity for reflection and to see their entire life is not taken up by these bullies. 

Photo Retrieved from: Teaching Tolerance

Massachusetts has since created an anti-bullying law which includes cyberbullying.  Here is the laws definition of cyberbullying:

“Cyber-bullying”, bullying through the use of technology or any electronic communication, which shall include, but shall not be limited to, any transfer of signs, signals, writing, images, sounds, data or intelligence of any nature transmitted in whole or in part by a wire, radio, electromagnetic, photo electronic or photo optical system, including, but not limited to, electronic mail, internet communications, instant messages or facsimile communications. Cyber-bullying shall also include (i) the creation of a web page or blog in which the creator assumes the identity of another person or (ii) the knowing impersonation of another person as the author of posted content or messages, if the creation or impersonation creates any of the conditions enumerated in clauses (i) to (v), inclusive, of the definition of bullying. Cyber-bullying shall also include the distribution by electronic means of a communication to more than one person or the posting of material on an electronic medium that may be accessed by one or more persons, if the distribution or posting creates any of the conditions enumerated in clauses (i) to (v), inclusive, of the definition of bullying. 

This law requires schools to establish an anti-bullying plan with clear procedures on how to report, respond and discipline bullying.  While cyberbullying is included in the definition of bullying it is much more difficult to witness and respond to this behavior versus traditional bullying.

Text Messages That Almost Ended a Teen's Life

So, you don’t like your friend’s boyfriend?  What are you going to do about it?  Maybe roll your eyes whenever he’s around.  Tell your friend what a loser he is and try to find her a better replacement? 

So, what happens if he happens to call or text your friend and you also just happen to receive the message?  Do you get involved?  Pretend you didn’t get the message?  Respond?

Unfortunately, for one South Florida teen in this situation, she chose to respond.  After a series of hateful back and forth text messages, the boyfriend came to her school and nearly killed her in a violent attack. 

Please visit these sites for the full story and text messages

·         NBC news article

·         NBC Miami

·         PalmBeachPost

Here is what this teen looked like after her friend’s boyfriend was done with her: 

Ratley in the hospital after the attack.

Photo retrieved from: allvoices



Photo retrieved from: elnuevoherald



Photo retrieved from: truecrimereport

While the case of who bullied who is debatable, but only one of the teens took physical action.  My question is; how did the use of new communication technologies impact this situation?  Would things have turned out differently if cell phones and text messaging did not exist?  It is my opinion that these two teens would probably have never crossed paths, if we didn’t have access to new communication technologies.  However, if they did meet prior to this beating, I do not believe that the teen girl would have said out loud a fraction of what she said through text messages to her friend’s boyfriend in person.  It is much easier to be cruel when you are shielded by distance, hiding behind your communication technologies.  The boy also would not have had so much time to prepare and arm himself, if a direct face-to-face interaction still resulted in a fight.  Perhaps, the injuries would have been less extensive.  We will never know the answer.

The use of cyberspace can create a feeling of deindividuation, weakening one’s ability to regulate their behavior (Bucy, 2005).  It can also result in a tendency to immediately react based on one’s current emotional state (Bucy, 2009).  I think the process of deindividuation played a role on the events that took place between these two teens.

With new communication technologies come new responsibilities.  I understand it can be hard for parents and schools to know how to properly address these issues with teens since the concepts are still so new.  However, it is important to listen to our country’s youth and hear what they have to say on the topic of cyberbullying and new communication technologies.  I’m sure if adults don’t have the solutions to some of these problems, a few youths will be able to provide the insight needed. 

References:

Bucy, (2005). Living in the information age. (2 ed., p. 197). Bemont, CA: Wadsworth.